12. In nursing homes, I would like to make sure that there’s a dating room, with a sign like in a hotel that says do not disturb. There’s a need for caressing and being held at every age.
13. Parade your body in front of your partner, show it off, try to feel good about it.
14. You’re on a business trip; you go out to dinner with a coworker; you each have too much to drink… and end up having sex, even though you’re both married. You have no feelings for this person, you both regret what happened, and you promise yourself that you will never let this happen again. Do you tell your spouse? I say you don’t. No matter how well your spouse takes this news, it’ll leave a scar on your relationship.
15. Older people have to be sexually literate. No sex in the evening when they’re tired. The best way for older people to engage in sex is after a good night’s sleep
These Tips you might want to look up in this copy of an interview I published here:
Everyone has by now some idea about the Coronavirus. It definitely has brought a lot of changes to our lives. How will all this end? Nobody knows for sure. We may have some ideas how it might end. However we cannot really know it, not exactly . . .
I think back to World War Two. Eighty years ago at this time of the year we had already eight months of war behind us. I was still only five years old. School started after Easter. But I was not allowed to go. I was considered to be still too young!
Our war in Germany ended on the 8th of May 1945. By then I was a ten year old. I emigrated to Australia in April 1959 with my husband and two daughters who were five months and sixteen months old. I left fourteen postwar years in Germany behind and started a new life in Australia. My dear little family did thrive in Australia. We did not make it to become rich. But we had a life in Australia, a good life. Neither Peter, my husband, nor I ever regretted our move to Australia. Yes, Australia has been very good to us!
Over the years we made a number of visits to our old country. We were amazed how prosperous Germany had become. Still, we were always glad to be going back to Australia. Four years ago, at the beginning of June, Peter and I made our last trip to Germany. Most of the time we stayed in Berlin, our home-town. Our son Martin had come with us and stayed with us, which was good. At the same time our daughter Caroline had come to Berlin with Matthew. They loved to get to know this interesting city. However on short notice they suddenly had to leave: Daughter Caroline had been called to Darwin on a job opportunity.
Towards the end of June daughter Monika had come to Berlin with all her tribe, that is with Natasha who is one of her daughters, and also with her twin sons, Troy and Ryan, as well as Ryan’s Partner Ebony and their sons Lucas and Alexander. They were on a tour from London to Paris to Switzerland to Berlin, where they stayed for nine days only, and then back to London, touring England a bit and then back home to Australia.
Why I mention our stay in Berlin four years ago is because that is where Peter first noticed something wrong with his bladder: Often he could hardly make it to the toilet on time! He always had to run, run, run to the toilet. A few weeks later in Australia a test showed that there was a tumour in his bladder!
For two years Peter received BCG treatment at Wollongong Hospital.
(BCG stands for Bacille Calmette Guerin. BCG is a weakened (attenuated) version of a bacteria called Mycobacterium bovis which is closely related to Mycobacterium tuberculosis, the agent responsible for tuberculosis. … BCG is also used as an adjuvant to stimulate the immune response and in cancer chemotherapy.)
Peter ended up with a battery of specialists: Urologists, an oncologist, cardiologists, a skin specialist, a dentist, hearing specialists, an optometrist and an ophthalmologist.
About two years ago heart bypass surgery was suggested because of Peter’s blocked arteries to the heart. Because of Peter’s brittle bones and his advanced age Peter decided he did not want any bypass surgery.
Recently Peter ended up in Wollongong Hospital with severe kidney pain. After successful surgery to drain the kidney and the insertion of a stent to the bladder the pain is gone. But Peter gets off and on severe back pain. Sitting in a comfortable easy chair usually helps him to immediately get rid of the pain. Also when he lies down on his side, the pain does go away instantly. However some Ex-ray revealed now, that Peter has the start of bone-cancer, which means that his bladder cancer has spread further.
I wrote the following in my diary from the 2nd September 2015:
“When I think of my parents, the most remarkable memory about them is, how very different they were. Here is a bit of how my father may have influenced me, and then how my mother’s influence was so very different.
My father was the most open minded and tolerant person. He liked to talk to me about a lot of things. He always treated me as though I was trustworthy and mature for my age, able to understand different points of view. Very rarely did I see him being angry with me. He only tended to be somewhat angry when, all of a sudden, I behaved in a very unpredictable way. Despite his open mindedness he was basically a very conservative man. If I showed signs of departing from his view of the world, this would upset him personally. Still, he was loving and forgiving, and eventually he was always able to accept my departure from some of his conservative views.
Now, my mother was in every way the opposite of my father. On the whole she was maybe rather tolerant as far as I was concerned because she loved me. But she made it very clear, that she did not love my father anymore. She showed not the least bit of tolerance towards him, on the contrary, she showed a lot of hatred, for in her opinion he was a “Versager” who did not do anything for his children. She thought it was not up to her to look after him when he had serious health issues. Maybe she thought he was just pretending. Also, she hardly ever talked to me about things that were important to me. She tended to keep very important things from me, for she wanted ‘to protect’ me! At least, this is how I remember it. I knew she loved me very much. Still, I always felt I was not the daughter she imagined I should be. I remember she telling me, I was an “Oppositionsgeist”. So I must have been speaking up about some things that disturbed me a great deal. I felt very bad for opposing her, but I could not help it. Of course, on the outside I tried very hard to go along with what she expected of me, just to keep the peace. Alas, I think I came into inner conflict about it. In short, I often did not feel happy about myself.
I ask myself now, how come, when I felt very much loved by both parents, I still did not feel very happy in myself a lot of the time? I think I felt torn between my parents . . . . ”
Further on I republish a few items and pictures from an earlier post:
“Mum kept a big photo album with pictures of me. Growing up, I always liked to look at all these pictures. However, I remember distinctly that the following pictures annoyed me quite a bit. I felt awful that the pictures showed me being so very plump! When I was told I looked ‘cute’ I tended not to believe it. I was self conscious at an early age and mostly didn’t feel ‘cute’ at all. I still often don’t like my picture taken because I think I might look awful! The adults in the pictures are my Mum, Tante Ilse and Onkel Addi. I wonder who took the pictures with all three adults in it. Was it perhaps my father? Pussi was Tante Ilse’s dog. Apparently I loved carrying this dog.
My father, Alexander Spickermann, was born in Lodz on the 13th of May 1904. The following picture of him was taken in about 1916. This is the earliest picture I have of him. Alexander’s brother Edmund Spickermann, was born in 1902. Both brothers studied in Leipzig, Germany. The following pictures are from 1925 in the city of Leipzig. There is first Alexander and then Edmund. Both brothers are in their student outfits. And then there is a picture of both of them in front of the Völkerschlacht-Denkmal in Leipzig. Alexander and Charlotte are my parents. They were married on the 25th of September 1930. Earlier that year, that is in 1930, Alexander promoted to Dr. phil and Edmund to Dr. rer.pol. The above picture is from 1925 when Alexander and Edmund first met Charlotte and Ilse. Charlotte was only fourteen years old at the time. Her sister Ilse was eighteen. Below is my parents’ wedding photo from the 25th of September 1930. (Charlotte was born on the 23rd of March 1911 and Ilse on the 27th of February 1907).”
My parents’ weddig photo: 25th September 1930
My parents lived apart a lot of the time during and after World War II and then divorced after having lived apart for many years.
Mum and her sister Ilse in June 1940
Mum with me and my brothers Bodo and Peter Uwe in 1947
Auntie, Sister. Grandmother, Great-Grandmother, Mother and Wife of German Descent I’ve lived in Australia since 1959 together with my husband Peter. We have four children, eight grandchildren and two great-grandchildren. I started blogging because I wanted to publish some of my childhood memories. I am blogging now also some of my other memories. I like to publish some photos too as well as a little bit of a diary from the present time. Occasionally I publish a story with a bit of fiction in it. Peter, my husband, is publishing some of his stories under berlioz1935.wordpress.com View all posts by auntyutaPublishedSeptember 28, 2019
4 thoughts on “When I think of my Parents . . . . . . .(a Copy)”
rangewriterEditThese photos are so wonderful! You mom and Aunt Ilse were very beautiful young women, but then again, so was your father and his brother. I can so relate to what you say about not liking yourself from an early age, especially not liking photos of yourself then or now. I’m the same way. I’ve never figured out from whom or when I decided I was the ugliest girl in the world, but it happened around 3rd or 4th grade and stuck like super glue. It seems we both grew into being solid, and reasonably confident adults. That is also interesting. And that dog you are holding looks the spitting image of my sister’s dog when we first moved to Wyoming. Her name was Ebony and she gave birth to several litters of pups, one of which pups I got to keep.Reply
auntyutaEditThanks so much for commenting, Linda. That little dog’s name was ‘Pussy’. Aunt Ilse was in a way like a mother to me. Mayby this was because she never had any children of her own. I always loved to have her around! After the war my mother was full of hatred towards my father. This disturbed me a lot. A lot of times she actually said not very nice things about my father’s family. And I liked them all so very much! I learned from an early age that serious quarrels among parents can have a very detrimental effect on children.Reply
doesitevenmatter3EditYour photos are priceless and precious, Uta!!! I love the photo of you with the doggie! You were a beautiful little girl and you are a beautiful woman today! When we look at the vintage photos they take us right back to our childhood! All the memories flood over us. (((HUGS)))Reply
I find this conversation article very interesting!
What is COVAX-19, the most advanced of Australia’s remaining local COVID vaccine candidates?
June 23, 2021 12.37pm AEST
Australia’s current crop of COVID-19 vaccines consists of a shot by American biotechnology company Pfizer, which we import, and the vaccine by British-Swedish multinational AstraZeneca, the bulk of which we manufacture onshore in Melbourne under license.
However, the most advanced of our local COVID vaccines in development is a shot called “COVAX-19” by South Australian based biotech, Vaxine.
It’s great to see another Australian group at the forefront of COVID-19 research and particularly vaccine development.
How does the Novavax vaccine work?
The Novavax vaccine is given as two doses, similar to the Pfizer and AstraZeneca shots already being used in Australia.
It can be stored for up to three months at fridge temperature, which differs from the Pfizer mRNA vaccine which needs to be kept at ultra-low temperatures. In saying that, the TGA said last week the Pfizer vaccine can be stored at normal freezer temperatures for two weeks during transport, and at fridge temperatures for five days — though must still be kept ultra-cold after transport and in the long-term.
The vaccine also uses a different technology to the Pfizer and AstraZeneca vaccines. It’s a “protein subunit” vaccine; these are vaccines that introduce a part of the virus to the immune system, but don’t contain any live components of the virus.
The protein part of the vaccine is the coronavirus’ “spike protein”. This is part of the other COVID-19 vaccines in use but in a different form.
The Novavax vaccine uses a version of the spike protein made in the lab. The spike proteins are assembled into tiny particles called “nanoparticles” which aim to resemble the structure of the coronavirus, however they cannot replicate once injected and the vaccine cannot cause you to get COVID-19.
In order for these subunit vaccines to generate strong protective responses, they need to include molecules that boost your immune system, called “adjuvants”. The goal of these adjuvants is to mimic the way the real virus would activate the immune system, to generate maximum protective immunity.
How effective is the vaccine compared to those already in use in Australia?
The interim data from phase 3 testing, released in March, was very encouraging. When tested in the UK in a clinical trial including more that 15,000 people, the vaccine was 96% effective at preventing COVID-19 disease for those infected with the original strain of the coronavirus.
This compares well to the Pfizer vaccine, with an efficacy of 95%, and recent data from AstraZeneca demonstrating 76% efficacy against COVID-19.
The Novavax vaccine is also safe. In early clinical testing the vaccine caused mainly mild adverse events such as pain and tenderness at the injection site, and no serious adverse reactions were recorded. In the larger trials, adverse events occurred at low levels and were similar between the vaccine and placebo groups.
Mobile touches: a study on how humans use technology
Words by Michael Winnick, Visuals by Robert Zolna Thursday 16 June 2016, 7 min read
On this article from 16 June 2016 it says that people touch their phones
about 2,617 times a day!
Personally I do refuse to get a phone. I am very elderly. I admit more often than not I spend quite a bit of time on the computer. I am determined not to add to this obsession another obsession! So, I just do not want to participate in this phone obsession. Every one, that is not so very elderly as I am, I am sure does find this refusal to get a mobile phone extremely odd. Still, I stick by my decision!
Yes, Uta…these mornings are very nice..I have to rise early to attend to the horses feeds so I see the sun rise…Y’ know.. I go outside in the mornin’ Pause..take in th’ weather..;yawnin’, Mark how the dawnin’ sun Gives the silver’d branches of the Mallee A dun coloured sheen…nice ‘n clean. Matching the wing of a galah Tight-cling’d there…..on a spar. An’ I’m thinking.. In this quiet, morning haste That one oughta’ feel some poetry Whilst in such a place.. But then…ah..it’d just be a waste…Reply
auntyutaEditPoetry a waste, Joe? No way! Thanks very much, Joe, for letting me feel how beautiful mornings in the Mallee can be! Reply
freefall852Edit” You cannot partake in a clash of civilisations if you loathe your own civilisation. …” This statement is disingenuous in that it presumes that the only reason “The West” cannot support its own colonisation is because there are those that despise the morals and ethics of the accepted “Western” principles of superiority in philosophy and creativity.. The perpetrators and self-proclaimed “owners” of “Western ideals” have no intention of altruistic spreading of the best of those ideals, rather, they mostly are the moguls, meglomaniacs and ultra conservative wealthy who use a nation’s military to illegally invade and subjugate via puppet regiems so as to strip the wealth of that nation..they are brutal, lying deceitful propagandists.. It is the upper middle-class that commits all these brutal acts of invasion / subjugation because THAT is the core philosophy of middle-class economics..to aspire to wealth, materialism, consumerism…Since the industrial revolution, they have destroyed those cottage industries, the trade skills and the village cultural communities…driven millions into cities and made them dependent on the middle-class brand of economics, food consumption and envious materialism…I could go on, but I think you get my drift…That article and the website are bullshit sites created by the middle-class to promote themselves and their agendas. “They create a wasteland and they call it peace” ..Tacitus ; The speech of Calgacus. https://www.thelatinlibrary.com/imperialism/readings/agricola.html
auntyutaEdithttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brendan_O%27Neill_(columnist) Brendan O’Neil is the author of the above article. Oh yes, he may be promoting this kind of middle class that you were referring to.https://www.thelatinlibrary.com/imperialism/readings/agricola.htmlThanks, Joe, for this link to: Tacitus: Calgacus’ Speech to his Troops (A.D. 85).The more I look at this speech, the more interesting I find it. I think you’re right in studying history, Joe, This may make us better equipped to understand what is going on in our time!Tacitus says about Calgacus, “a man of outstanding valor and nobility” And Calgacus says about the Romans: “Do you suppose that the Romans will be as brave in war as they are licentious in peace? . . .”Calgacus also says in that speech: “. . . those who have ceased to fear will begin to hate. . .”
doesitevenmatter3EditSounds beautiful, indeed. I love that you can sit with trees at the park and commune with them. I love trees! Yes, ’tis sad we can’t see family as we would like to see them. But, we are grateful for all the good in our lives amongst all the struggles with lockdowns, etc. We are counting the blessings each morning. (((HUGS))) Reply
auntyutaEditOh yes, Carolyn, for as long as we can still enjoy beautiful mornings like these, we have reason to count our blessings. Thank you very much for commenting, dear Carolyn! HUGS from me too! Reply
rangewriterEditHang in there, AuntyUta. I think this isolation is most difficult for the elderly. But far beats the alternative of getting or spreading the dang virus.Reply
auntyutaEditLinda, strangely enough, right now I quite enjoy having time to myself. It beats having to go in and out of Medical Centres! Some of the news do give me the creeps. One Australian interviewer said yesterday, she was having two meltdowns in the one day. But she picked herself up and was alright for her Afternoon Briefing TV Program. I had such a meltdown day too yesterday, but was able to pick myself up within hours!
Tomorrow, Thursday, we can have our Christmas Eve celebrations here at my place in Dapto. The Corona Virus update says, ten adults are allowed to come plus a number of children under twelve. My great-grandchildren, that live near here, happen to be all under twelve, namely eight, six, four and one. So they can all come! I hope the weather will be fine so that they can play a bit outside.
Today was a lovely day. I had a beautiful walk in the sun. There was a slight breeze that felt quite pleasant. It was so good to have sunshine all day after having had so many grey and very wet days. Conditions seem to be becoming rather tropical this year, meaning warm tempratures and constant precipitation makes everything grow enormously. I find it hard to keep everything a little bit in check. I feel like I live in a jungle. Up to a point I do like this lush greenery. But then comes a time when everything needs to be trimmed for the space on my property is limited. I intend to apply for reasonable help in future, because the work I am still able to do myself is quite limited. I quickly get out of breath, and if I am not careful, I am in danger of falling. I am so glad that I can still do some walking, even if it is slow, and I have to do it with the rollator, it is still very good to be able to walk outside and enjoy nature!
The last few days I have been totally on my own in the house. I am still not quite used to have the whole house to myself after the hectic times when any number of people were involved in looking after my dearly loved Peter. Palliative care to moderate the pain of a dying person, especially when it can be done at home, is mind boggling. I am so grateful that this could be done for Peter.
I am contemplating now, what will the end of year bring? If anybody should think that I do get bored with less action and excitement, be assured, that this is not so. I am happy when I get the chance to do everything slowly and at my own pace. If this is getting slower and slower, so be it. I have no desire for a hetic pace any more, none whatsoever. Besides, if I am left to do everything slowly, I might perhaps be able to celebrate my 90th birthday in four year’s time!
In the New Year some reovations to my house and backyard are going to be done. Luckily, I am in a position to pay for all this, within reason of course. I am saving now, for I think a lot of travelling is for me out of the question, especially with the virus still going around. But I’d like to stay with Martin, my son, for a while. He assured me, I could stay with him whenever I needed a break. His spare room will always be availabe to me. After Peter’s funeral, Martin and his lovely dog Millie made it back in time to their place in Benalla, Victoria, before the border was closed. Now I wait for the border to be opened again, so that I can visit my son and see Millie again!
University of California Television (UCTV)702K subscribersSUBSCRIBE(02:52 – Kimberley Bell, DPT) Each year millions of people go to the doctor because of dizziness. Dr. Kimberley Bell, DPT hosts a panel of experienced clinicians to explore the multi-factorial causes of dizziness and vertigo, and offer strategies and tips to find relief. The neurological and vestibular causes of dizziness and vertigo are discussed. [4/2017] [Show ID: 31372] Part 2 of this talk can be found here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZFnj0… Please Note: Knowledge about health and medicine is constantly evolving. This information may become out of date.
Despite all the struggles with Peter’s deteriorating health and so much slowing down due to old age, we do count ourselves lucky that we still have some time together and that we have a caring family. I am sure, our family is going to be greatly relieved too, if we do get this fexible Respite Care, that I mentioned in one of the above comments. When I feel too stressed, my blood pressure tends to go sky high. The health profession gets extremely worried, when the blood pressure reaches as much as 200! But I believe that basically I am quite healthy for my age. As soon as I am less stressed, my blood pressure goes very much down. Besides I do get some medication now, and the last few days we were able to spend some days without having to go out anywhere. Going out on our own for a few hours is always extremely exhausting for both of us. After a few hours out we need plenty of rest. And I find a few hours extra sleep are very helpful too in calming us.
Both Peter and I are very restricted in being active in any way for we do very soon get out of breath and have to stop whatever we are doing. But of course Peter is much worse off for his body is not a healthy body anymore, and the hours where he feels sort of okay are getting less and less. Often he thinks he cannot survive much longer. He has severe blockages to the heart as well as advanced bladder cancer that probably has spread already somewhat further. He manages all his medication himself, a very vast amount of medication! Whenever Peter feels alright for a little while, we try to do the things at home that we can enjoy doing. Doing things on the computer, watching our favourite TV programs, listening to classic music or jazz, or something exhilarating like an Andre Rieu program. Enjoying the outdoors in the sun, we like doing too at this time of the year whenever we can make some time for it!
Last but not least I like to mention that we do try to eat a lot of fresh, healthy food, freshly cooked or just some delicious fruit. Both Peter and I, we still have satisfactory appetite and digestion. We very much enjoy relaxing meals with just a small glass of wine.