When I think of my Parents . . . . . . .(a Copy)

I found it interesting to look again at this blog about my childhood. Hopefully some of my followers might want to have a look at it too?

auntyutaChildhood MemoriesCopyOld Age  September 28, 2019 3 Minutes

I wrote the following in my diary from the 2nd September 2015:

“When I think of my parents, the most remarkable memory about them is, how very different they were. Here is a bit of how my father may have influenced me, and then how my mother’s influence was so very different.

My father was the most open minded and tolerant person. He liked to talk to me about a lot of things. He always treated me as though I was trustworthy and mature for my age, able to understand different points of view. Very rarely did I see him being angry with me. He only tended to be somewhat angry when, all of a sudden, I behaved in a very unpredictable way. Despite his open mindedness he was basically a very conservative man. If I showed signs of departing from his view of the world, this would upset him personally. Still, he was loving and forgiving, and eventually he was always able to accept my departure from some of his conservative views.

Now, my mother was in every way the opposite of my father. On the whole she was maybe rather tolerant as far as I was concerned because she loved me. But she made it very clear, that she did not love my father anymore. She showed not the least bit of tolerance towards him, on the contrary, she showed a lot of hatred, for in her opinion he was a “Versager” who did not do anything for his children. She thought it was not up to her to look after him when he had serious health issues. Maybe she thought he was just pretending. Also, she hardly ever talked to me about things that were important to me. She tended to keep very important things from me, for she wanted ‘to protect’ me! At least, this is how I remember it. I knew she loved me very much. Still, I always felt I was not the daughter she imagined I should be. I remember she telling me, I was an “Oppositionsgeist”. So I must have been speaking up about some things that disturbed me a great deal. I felt very bad for opposing her, but I could not help it. Of course, on the outside I tried very hard to go along with what she expected of me, just to keep the peace. Alas, I think I came into inner conflict about it. In short, I often did not feel happy about myself.

I ask myself now, how come, when I felt very much loved by both parents, I still did not feel very happy in myself a lot of the time? I think I felt torn between my parents . . . . ”

Further on I republish a few items and pictures from an earlier post:

“Mum kept a big photo album with pictures of me. Growing up, I always liked to look at all these pictures. However, I remember distinctly that the following pictures annoyed me quite a bit. I felt awful that the pictures showed me being so very plump! When I was told I looked ‘cute’ I tended not to believe it. I was self conscious at an early age and mostly didn’t feel ‘cute’ at all. I still often don’t like my picture taken because I think I might look awful! The adults in the pictures are my Mum, Tante Ilse and Onkel Addi. I wonder who took the pictures with all three adults in it. Was it perhaps my father? Pussi was Tante Ilse’s dog. Apparently I loved carrying this dog.

Alexander ca 1916
Leipzig ca. 1925
Edmund ca 1925
Alexander und Edmund am Voelkerschlachts Denkmal after 1925

My father, Alexander Spickermann, was born in Lodz on the 13th of May 1904. The following picture of him was taken in about 1916. This is the earliest picture I have of him. Alexander’s brother Edmund Spickermann, was born in 1902. Both brothers studied in Leipzig, Germany. The following pictures are from 1925 in the city of Leipzig. There is first Alexander and then Edmund. Both brothers are in their student outfits. And then there is a picture of both of them in front of the Völkerschlacht-Denkmal in Leipzig.
Alexander and Charlotte are my parents. They were married on the 25th of September 1930. Earlier that year, that is in 1930, Alexander promoted to Dr. phil and Edmund to Dr. rer.pol. The above picture is from 1925 when Alexander and Edmund first met Charlotte and Ilse. Charlotte was only fourteen years old at the time. Her sister Ilse was eighteen. Below is my parents’ wedding photo from the 25th of September 1930. (Charlotte was born on the 23rd of March 1911 and Ilse on the 27th of February 1907).”

25.9.1930

My parents’ weddig photo: 25th September 1930

My parents lived apart a lot of the time during and after World War II and then divorced after having lived apart for many years.

Mum and her sister Ilse in June 1940

Mum with me and my brothers Bodo and Peter Uwe in 1947

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Related

Uta’s Diary, 2nd of September 2015September 2, 2015In “Diary”

What did I worry about during my growing up Years?December 17, 2019In “Memories”

What I wrote two Years agoSeptember 8, 2013In “Childhood Memories”

Edit”When I think of my Parents . . . . . . .(a Copy)”

Published by auntyuta

Auntie, Sister. Grandmother, Great-Grandmother, Mother and Wife of German Descent I’ve lived in Australia since 1959 together with my husband Peter. We have four children, eight grandchildren and two great-grandchildren. I started blogging because I wanted to publish some of my childhood memories. I am blogging now also some of my other memories. I like to publish some photos too as well as a little bit of a diary from the present time. Occasionally I publish a story with a bit of fiction in it. Peter, my husband, is publishing some of his stories under berlioz1935.wordpress.com View all posts by auntyutaPublishedSeptember 28, 2019

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4 thoughts on “When I think of my Parents . . . . . . .(a Copy)”

  1. rangewriter EditThese photos are so wonderful! You mom and Aunt Ilse were very beautiful young women, but then again, so was your father and his brother.
    I can so relate to what you say about not liking yourself from an early age, especially not liking photos of yourself then or now. I’m the same way. I’ve never figured out from whom or when I decided I was the ugliest girl in the world, but it happened around 3rd or 4th grade and stuck like super glue.
    It seems we both grew into being solid, and reasonably confident adults. That is also interesting.
    And that dog you are holding looks the spitting image of my sister’s dog when we first moved to Wyoming. Her name was Ebony and she gave birth to several litters of pups, one of which pups I got to keep.Reply
  2. auntyuta EditThanks so much for commenting, Linda. That little dog’s name was ‘Pussy’. Aunt Ilse was in a way like a mother to me. Mayby this was because she never had any children of her own. I always loved to have her around! 
    After the war my mother was full of hatred towards my father. This disturbed me a lot. A lot of times she actually said not very nice things about my father’s family. And I liked them all so very much! I learned from an early age that serious quarrels among parents can have a very detrimental effect on children.Reply
  3. doesitevenmatter3 EditYour photos are priceless and precious, Uta!!!
    I love the photo of you with the doggie! You were a beautiful little girl and you are a beautiful woman today!
    When we look at the vintage photos they take us right back to our childhood! All the memories flood over us.
    (((HUGS)))Reply
    1. auntyuta EditThanks, Carolyn! 
      HUGS, Uta 

Ai Weiwei’s new film goes behind the scenes of the Wuhan lockdown

https://www.dw.com/en/ai-weiweis-new-film-goes-behind-the-scenes-of-the-wuhan-lockdown/a-54707798

The Chinese artist’s latest documentary, “Coronation,” was filmed remotely by a team of amateur Wuhan filmmakers. Ai Weiwei spoke to DW about how an authoritarian state stopped the COVID-19 outbreak in its tracks.

« Coronation » – a documentary film about the lockdown in Wuhan, China, during the Covid-19 outbreak in the spring of 2020 (b/@aiww) https://aiweiwei.com/coronation

The Eucalyptus Salubris Tree

https://www.google.com/search?sa=X&q=eucalyptus+salubris+buy&tbm=isch&source=univ&ved=2ahUKEwiNha3hi_LiAhWUF3IKHSJZAmsQsAR6BAgEEAE&biw=1229&bih=603&dpr=1.56#imgrc=3h7fHZ23rO0xWM:

In the above link you find terrific pictures of this Australian native tree!

I also found a very interesting article about the aucalyptus salubris tree in The Conversation here:

https://theconversation.com/the-sexy-gum-a-love-story-115363

The sexy gum: a love story

Dr Michael Whitehead is campaigning to rename the Gimlet Gum to the Sexy Gum. Author provided (No reuse)
This is how Dr Whitehead starts this article in The Conversation:
“It is perhaps poetic that a region most famous for its lack of trees lies so close to one of Australia’s greatest tree-based spectacles. The Nullarbor Plain, our famous, flat, featureless expanse is literally named for its absence of trees (“arbor” being Latin for tree).”
And further on he writes:

 

“E. salubris is a dominant species forming woodlands on deep soils east of the Darling Range. And while much of its former range in the Wheatbelt of Western Australia has been cleared, extensive populations of E. salubrisremain in the astonishing stronghold of the Great Western Woodlands.

Those who have walked in a mature woodland understand the pleasure of wandering unimpeded in the shade of widely spaced trees.

Widely spaced trees of the Great Western Woodlands. Keren Gila/WikimediaCC BY

The Great Western Woodlands offers this experience on a grand scale. At around 16 million hectares they are the largest tracts of intact temperate woodlands on Earth, occupying an area larger than England and Wales combined.

And it is not just size that is impressive about these woodlands.

The Great Western Woodlands are a renowned hotspot for eucalypt diversity, home to around 30% of Australia’s eucalypt species in just 2% of its land area.

As one of the more common species throughout the area, E. salubris plays a critical ecological role, providing habitat for several threatened bird species including the rotund and charismatic Mallee fowl.”

And there is more. Please go to the link:

https://theconversation.com/the-sexy-gum-a-love-story-115363

 

 

Aufbruch – Departure

 We saw today this German TV Movie: Aufbruch

Tthe story shows how difficult it was for a girl from a working class family to qualify for university studies. The setting is the early 1960s in a small place in Western Germany. We thought all the actors were very good. The movie shows that there was a lot of class distinction. Some people were very poor, others were quite rich. Some seemed to have a Nazi past, but people were very much discouraged to talk about it. The educated people conversed in ‘Hochdeutsch’ (High German) whereas the people from the lower classes spoke with a very distinct dialect that sounded very different from High German. Hilla, the working class girl, had learned to speak ‘Hochdeutsch’. She was very outspoken, often putting up a fight with her family and others.But she was constantly reading books and writing and improving her way of expression. This brought her to the desired success in her studies. She ended up having an admiring audience when she read from a newly published book. 

Ulla Hahn wrote the novel: Aufbruch

https://www.tvspielfilm.de/kino/filmarchiv/film/aufbruch,8597540,ApplicationMovie.html

Der steinige Weg zur Emanzipation: TV-Geschichtsdrama nach Ulla Hahn.

Anfang der 1960er-Jahre steckt Hilla Palm (Anna Fischer) mitten im Abitur. Der Film setzt da an, wo der Zweiteiler „Teufelsbraten“ 2008 aufgehört hat. Als Tochter einer Arbeiterfamilie war für Hilla schon der Weg auf die weiterführende Schule ein Kampf, nun möchte sie studieren: Germanistik, Geschichte, Philosophie – am liebsten alles auf einmal. Doch das Geld dafür können ihre Eltern (Margarita Broich, Ulrich Noethen) nicht so einfach erübrigen, zumal sie von den Plänen ihrer Tochter nicht begeistert sind. Lieber solle sie sich Arbeit suchen, und einen Ehemann. Hillas einzige Hoffnung: ein Stipendium, das ihr der Pastor ihrer rheinischen Gemeinde (Markus John) in Aussicht stellt. Doch dafür braucht die sprachbegabte Leseratte auch in Mathematik gute Noten. Ablenkung findet die wissbegierige junge Frau in der Buchhandlung von Julius Buche (Heiko Pinkowski). Dort lernt sie den reichen Unternehmersohn Godehard van Keuken (Daniel Sträßer) kennen und lieben. Hat die Beziehung eine Chance? Das Streben nach Gleichberechtigung, Gewalt gegen Frauen, Aufarbeitung der NS-Zeit: Drehbuchautor Volker Einrauch und Regisseurin Hermine Huntgeburth behandeln diese Themen mit einer gewissen Leichtigkeit. Kölsche Dialoge, Ausstattung und Darsteller machen die Adenauer-Ära fürs Publikum greifbar.

Lebendiges Sittenbild einer spießigen Epoche

Mehr zum Film: Aufbruch

Cast und Crew

Genre:
Geschichtsdrama
Land:
DE
Jahr:
2016
Regie:
Hermine Huntgeburth
Produzent:
Gerd Haag
Drehbuch:
Volker Einrauch
Kamera:
Sebastian Edschmid
Musik:
Andreas Schäfer , Biber Gullatz

Darsteller:

Hilla
Anna Fischer
Mutter
Margarita Broich
Vater
Ulrich Noethen
Godehard van Keuken
Daniel Sträßer
Großmutter
Barbara Nüsse
Herr Buche
Heiko Pinkowski
Pastor
Markus John
Monika
Saskia Rosendahl
Frau Seliger
Heike Trinker
Tante Berta
Petra Welteroth
Lehrer Sellmer
Wolfgang Rüter
Lehrer Rebmann
Hajo Tuschy

weitere Starporträts finden Sie hier

News von Aufbruch

Hilla hat es geschafft: Weil die Pfarrei für ihr Schulgeld aufkommt, darf sie das Aufbaugymnasium besuchen und Abitur machen. Doch ihre Familie beäugt die Liebe Hillas zur Sprache, zu Büchern und zur Bildung skeptisch. Ihr Vater ist einfacher Arbeiter, ihre Mutter arbeitet als Putzfrau, die Großmutter hilft im Haushalt. Hilla, die als einzige in der Familie Hochdeutsch gelernt hat, wirkt in dieser bildungsfernen Welt wie ein Fremdkörper. Was will das Mädchen mit dem Abitur? Im Deutschland der frühen 60er Jahre soll eine junge Frau eine Familie gründen, alles andere “sind nur Flausen”. Doch mit dem Pastor ihrer Gemeinde hat Hilla einen starken Fürsprecher, der ihr sogar ein Stipendium für ein Studium in Aussicht stellt.

Ulla Hahn
Aufbruch
Roman
Gebundenes Buch mit Schutzumschlag, 592 Seiten, 13,5 x 21,5 cm
1 s/w Abbildung
ISBN: 978-3-421-04263-7
DVA Belletristik
Erscheinungstermin: September 2009
Lange erwartet: der neue große Roman von Ulla Hahn
Ihr Leben scheint vorgezeichnet: Kinder, Küche, Kirche. Doch Hilla träumt sich weg aus dem
Dorf am Rhein. Nichts kann dem Kind kleiner Leute die Sehnsucht nach der Freiheit des Geistes
austreiben. Unverhofft bietet sich ihr ein neues Leben: Abitur, Studium, ihre selbst gewählte
Zukunft liegt vor ihr. Nach „Das verborgene Wort“ hat die Lyrikerin und Bestsellerautorin
Ulla Hahn erneut ein imposantes Epos vorgelegt, das feinnervig vom Erwachsenwerden,
Wachwerden, Menschwerden erzählt.
Hilla lacht das freieste Lachen der Welt. Es ist der erste Tag nach den Weihnachtsferien
im Januar 1963; das Lehrerkollegium des Aufbaugymnasiums hat beschlossen, die
Siebzehnjährige noch ins laufende Schuljahr aufzunehmen. Mit diesem Tag beginnt für das
wissbegierige Kind „vun nem Prolete“ endlich das lang ersehnte neue Leben, in dem die
einfachen Wahrheiten der Eltern nicht mehr gelten, in dem das Buckeln in der Papierfabrik von
der Freiheit der Worte abgelöst wird. Doch wird Hilla ihre wahre Heimat wirklich in der Sprache
finden?
„Aufbruch“ gewährt einen anrührenden Blick in die Seele einer mutigen und doch so
verletzlichen Heranwachsenden – und zeichnet sprachübermütig und mit großem epischem
Temperament ein detailreiches Sittengemälde von den bundesrepublikanischen Mittsechzigern.
“Der Teufelsbraten” preceded the movie “Aufruch”.

Memories about January 2019 in Pictures

We celebrated the start of 2019 with the above things.


This is for the start of the Year 2019 in Berlin: 10am our time in Australia and ten hours back it is midnight in Berlin!

It is our tradition to celebrate the start of the New Year twice, fireworks for Sydney and ten hours later fireworks for Berlin!

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This is where we celebrated Yittah’s 75th Birtday.

dscn5065Peter at Shellharbour near the Swimming Pools

Monika, little Carter and Natasha met us at the Shellharbour Pools.

About a week later we met Monika with little Carter at the Dapto Pools. A bit later Ebony joined us with Lucas and Alexander.

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This is Ebony with Lucas and Alexander.

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Lucas(6), Alexander (4) and Carter(2) played with these balls that Ebony had brought along. They great fun in the water with these balls. It was a very warm day. The water was quite warm too. The boys came out of the water for a few snacks. Then they wanted to go straight back in again. I went for a swim too. Peter stayed outside. 

 

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Peter in a Shopping Centre in Wollongong

 

The Horse Chestnut Tree in Bozener Strasse, Berlin-Schoeneberg, Germany

https://www.alamy.com/stock-photo-gewoehnliche-rosskastanie-aesculus-hippocastanum-bozener-strasse-schoeneberg-102577853.html

I was just searching pictures that were taken in Bozener Strasse, where I grew up. Surprise, surprise, I opened the above link: And what did I see? In the picture behind the huge chestnut tree I discovered the house I grew up in! We lived on the third floor on the right side. Our front windows and our balcony can be seen very clearly. The picture was taken on the 11th of May 2015. That would have been springtime in Germany. One can see that the tree is flowering beautifully.

I happen to know, that a lot of the scenes of the 1984 movie ‘Forbidden’ were filmed in this exact same building that I grew up in! Peter and I recently saw this movie:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Forbidden_(1984_film)

In Wikipedia this is said about the movie:

“The plot of that movie is loosely based on the true story of Maria von Maltzan originally told in the non-fiction book The Last Jews in Berlin by Leonard Gross about a countess who hides her Jewish boyfriend in her apartment in World War II. It was a co-production between Britain, West Germany and the United States. It was broadcast on television in America, but released in cinemas in other countries. . . .”

In September 1940 I celebrated my 6th birthday. My mother took a few pictures with me and my birthday guests: Two pictures under the chestnut tree and one picture in front of our house. I published the pictures together with another picture that was taken on my aunt’s huge balcony up on the fifth floor (probably in the summer of 1942 when we children had fun having a dress-up party.) Here is where I published these pictures:

Uta’s Birthday 1940

And here I wrote about a visit to Bozener Strasse in September 2012, when Peter and I had come from Australia for a visit to Berlin:

https://auntyuta.com/2012/09/

About Bozener Strasse I wrote the following in this post of September 2012:

“Yesterday, Tuesday, our destination was Bayrischer Platz. Just round the corner is Bozener Strasse, where I grew up. I felt quite nostalgic to see my old stomping ground again. We picked up a few large, shiny, rather big chestnuts from under the huge tree at the end of Bozener Strasse. I remember this tree very well from my childhood!”